Ways To Put Sexual Aggression Back Into Your Relationship
Sex isn’t always easy. Like any other part of a healthy relationship, having healthy sex takes time and energy. It makes the best of couples. At first, you couldn’t control yourself. But over time, especially when life gets tough, that inspiring fire can die.
Signs that a couple is having sex can vary, but some are common:
- Sex happens less often – or not at all.
- Sex has become normal.
- Only one partner seems to initiate sex
- and the partner is often rejected. Sometimes couples get to the point where they don’t see each other sexually. Some couples don’t touch each other very well
- Don’t hold hands or kiss for longer than a simple kiss.
Another sign? When partners no longer focus on their physical appearance. Usually, desire and lust are on top of them at the beginning of a relationship.
When people feel comfortable in their relationship and all the other things of life come into play, the desire sometimes ends if it is not done. There are ways to rekindle that flame, but first we have to let go of “letting go of the myth” that sex should always happen and be easy, Needle said. Like any other part of a healthy relationship, having healthy sex takes time and energy. You have to make an effort.
Start by focusing on your connection with each other. Being able to communicate is important both inside and outside the classroom. Ask your partner the same questions you would ask your best friend. Be open about your feelings, whether you’re talking about your day at the office or your desires.
Once communication is restored, try these tips to increase the power:
1. Get your dopamine up – together.
One thing that causes butterflies when you first meet is the chemical alcohol in your body. Change that by doing something new. Check out a new restaurant, take a cooking class together – do something fun that you’ve been dying to try.
2. Kiss often.
At the beginning of a relationship, couples often enjoy kissing, but over time, they stop. “Continued hugging, kissing, cuddling is an important part of a healthy relationship.
3. Remember how it was when you first met.
Turn off the TV and remember the fun times you had – even the sex, if that – when you first met.
4. Make a list of opportunities to have sex.
Go through the sex book together and be inspired by its suggestions. Make a list of at least ten. Don’t worry if you want to try them or not. Just list them. Then rate each topic on a scale of 1-5 based on your willingness to try it. Share your answers among yourselves. See if you can find something new to try together.
5. Keep the mystery alive.
No matter how long you’ve been together, make an effort to have sex and renew your sexual connection. Add surprise to the relationship. Break this predictable pattern one time at a time. It can help keep that desire alive.
6. Get in touch with your own sexuality.
Read an erotic novel or watch a sexy movie to make yourself happy. Think about when you were most sexually aroused. You may want to write a fantasy essay to share with your partner.
7. Find a sex coach.
Although many people know intuitively that they need to make changes in their partner, they often want to talk to a professional to find out how to do it, Levine said. Having a coach is a great way to not only get expert advice and support, but also to hold you accountable for the changes ahead.
